A Quiet Heart Is…Comfortable With Weakness
There is a reason I am a writer and not a public speaker. I have never been comfortable speaking in front of others. Sometimes when I even write it down ahead of time when I have something difficult to discuss with someone. Once they read it, we can talk. I just can’t express myself out loud like I can on the page. It is definitely a weakness of mine.
I recently wrote an article for Christianity Today that got the attention of some Christian radio stations hosts. When a couple asked me for interviews, I desperately wanted to refuse. The thought of my voice on the radio made me nervous as well as the thought of having to “wing it.” I love the power of editing and rewriting before sending your words out into the world. You can’t exactly do that live!
But with the encouragement of some people I love and fellow writers, I chose to do the interviews. I prepared and prayed and then tried to set it aside, not think about it until I was on air.
I am not sure how I got through it in the moment. The words somehow just came and I was actually pretty happy with the result. I hung up the phone after the first interview and realized I was beat red. All of my nervous energy had exploded out of me in hives, but inside I had felt calm and collected. My voice only shook a little bit…
I breathed a sigh of relief and thanked God for giving me the words.
I have had people say I sound like a natural when I speak. They have no idea how I feel nothing but utter weakness when I speak.
In those moments I know it is only Christ’s power residing in me that is shining through, making me sound like I have any idea what I am talking about. I definitely have no power of my own in that arena.
The assurance that God will cover us in our weakness comes in 2 Corinthians 2.19 (NET) when God says, “my grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Along with Paul I say, “so then I will boast most gladly about my weakness, so that the power of Christ may reside in me.”
My skin may break out when I speak and I may not ever feel comfortable with it. But I do feel comfortable saying I don’t mind being weak. My weak spots are the areas in which Christ’s strength can shine through.
My heart can quietly trust His grace as enough when I understand that when I am weak, He is strong.
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