December – 2016

December 14, 2016 Noticing (Everyday life)

The Cost of Peace. For the Mudroom.

I stare into the gleaming white lights of the Christmas tree until they blur together and dance across my vision, that tree adorned with symbols of peace and hope:

The star that lights the way to the one who delivers. The angel that sings of peace on earth. The manger that holds the hope of the world inside.

We love to sing and ponder the wonder of this time of year, to hold the beauty of a silent night close to our hearts.

But so often our hearts are anything but at peace as the holiday draws near and the flickering lights mock us. Hope seems out of reach and a silent night is all but a story in a children’s book that we can’t imagine being our reality.

What then? Does Christmas offer anything when all is not calm and bright?

So much unknown darkens the heart of Christmas for me this year. The gloom of declining health of family members casts a shadow over celebration. The grief of a life in transition and the uncertainty of what lies ahead in the coming months hangs over all our festivities. The never-ending parade of duties overshadows the sacred Advent call to waiting and expecting.

And that’s just my tiny little world. I can’t even begin to name the darkness that threatens to overtake so many people this season — the fear of what is to come in our divided nation, the death raining down on a city under siege across the world tonight, the bombs claiming more and more lives each day.

As darkness threatens to close in, I sit in the quiet where tiny dots of light are piercing the night. It’s here in the dancing shadows cast down by the sparkling evergreen reminder of hope that I realize this: peace comes with a cost.

I think about the land the Word became flesh in all those years ago, the people Christ came to when He became a babe. The Israelites had a history of wanting redemption without the cost. So do I...

Where do we find peace when life doesn't make sense and the way is unclear? Today I am at The Mudroom talking about where we find peace and what it costs us...

December 2, 2016 Noticing (Everyday life)

What I Learned This Fall

I love the changing of the seasons. It so easily lends itself to reflection on what you learned and where you are headed next. Fall is my favorite time of year and I really tried to savor it this year. As fall is ending and we're heading into the expecting and waiting of Advent, I am joining Emily Freeman's "What We Learned" series and reflecting on some things I learned this fall...

I desperately need real rhythms of rest in my life.

We took a trip with my immediate family to the North Georgia mountains to experience all the things I love about fall - pumpkin patches, apple picking, the changing leaves, and time with family. It was an incredible time to recharge and slow down. But I also need to learn to truly practice Sabbath each week and find times to rest not just when I can get away. Thanksgiving week was a time of real rest as well. I learned I still truly struggle to slow down and just be and that I constantly have to remind myself Sabbath time isn't wasted time. It is just as important as all the tasks ahead. I am not there yet, but it is a practice I journeyed in more this fall.

2. I still love Stars Hollow as much as ever.

The day after Thanksgiving I entered a lovely Gilmore Girls cocoon. Stocked with lots of coffee and Gimore-appropriate food (cheeseburgers with lettuce essence), my girls and I spent 9 hours watching, laughing, and crying. Maybe it is the connection with the best friend I got together with weekly to watch the first round of Gilmore seasons back in the day, maybe it's the fast-talking, coffee-loving ladies I identify with in many ways - but my journey back to Stars Hollow was the best TV binge of all time.

3. I am in love with Bullet journaling!

Don't get me wrong, I put everything on my family Google calendar. But I have always been a fan of still having a paper calendar and to-do list. But I haven't found a system I truly love until I started bullet journaling. Like the Sabbath practice, it's a practice that is a work in progress. But I love having every to-do list, shopping list, writing idea, and other things that jump into my scattered brain throughout the day all in one place. I love it!

4. I practice contemplative prayer so much better with guidance.

Not being a part of a faith community that focuses on contemplative prayer but having been reading all I can and being drawn to the practice for a couple years, I have really been trying to focus this year on lectio divina, examen, and centering prayer. But I get so distracted and give up so easily practicing these disciplines on my own. I discovered a couple apps that are changing that for me as I feel like I have a personal guide, someone journeying with me: The Pray as You Go (my favorite) and Jesuit Prayer app have been my companions in prayer this fall and they are growing my prayer practice immensely.

5. I love social media but I need regular breaks from it.

Having friends all over the world, social media is truly a love of mine. The ability to connect with people anywhere and share life with those I can't be with in person is priceless. But the negativity on social media especially this fall was wearing on my soul and I found that my weekend social media sabbaths were stretching into the week more and more. I learned there are seasons I need to step back from being on social media too much for the good of my mental health and soul. I won't ever abandon it completely but if I am silent for a while, know that I'm still present online but needed a breather.

6. Transition is hard, but also one of the best training grounds in total dependence on God!

As our transition to South Asia gets more real —packing commenced this fall and we started putting some of our belongings in the shipping container that will hold most things we own back in America as we decide what to pack in two suitcases each— so does the excitement and the grief that comes with an international move. This fall has been an emotional roller coaster and I know it is only the beginning of those feelings. But it has driven me to crying out and leaning on Jesus more than much else in my life has. It's a hard, beautiful place to be and I am grateful.