October 25, 2016

Sign

31 Days of Practicing Faith

In October, I am free writing for five minutes a day—raw and unedited—on practicing faith in the every day. Each day is based on a different prompt from 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes.

{Day 25} -Sign

We look for signs on the way home from school, identifying them by their shapes and colors. My youngest plays the same game his sister did at this age. He doesn’t know what the signs say yet but he knows that funny shaped red one means to stop and that the man up ahead holding the construction sign means we need to go slow. I pay attention to the signs when I drive because I like to know what is coming. I wish there were more road signs in our daily lives! Oh, how I long to know what is really coming around the bend for me.

I have grasped for control even more as I have aged, not wanting to be caught unprepared, not wanting a detail of my kids lives to slip through the cracks of my busy life. It has often gotten to the point of anxiety and panic when my life gets to a lot of chaos and unknown.

I am reading a 40-day devotional about fear right now. At first, I thought “I don’t really struggle with fear” but a friend suggested this book for people who have anxiety, so I thought I’d give it a try. As I began to read, I saw myself in every page. My need for control, my yearning for the known—it comes from fear resulting in not really understanding who God is. Father, Loving, Friend, Patient, Kind, Sovereign. If I really slow down and ask Him to show me His character, take the time to understand how in control He really is, then my fear will melt away. Maybe not easily. Maybe not without a lot of work and reminding myself of who He is moment by moment. But it will.

I am learning there are signs everywhere, reminding me my God is in full control and that whatever comes around the bend, He isn’t caught unaware.

Lord, help me to see the signs today.

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