On Writing 21
31 Days of Practicing Faith
In October, I am free writing for five minutes a day—raw and unedited—on practicing faith in the every day. Each day is based on a different prompt from 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes.
{Day 14} - Mail
I mounted my bike and headed down the dusty driveway. The sunlight glinted in patches between the Live Oaks that framed the drive. By the time I reached the mailbox my curls were already sticking to me, the Mississippi humidity as thick as the smell of earth after the rain on the bayou.
The door creaked as I opened it and I smiled as I held the newest postcard in my hands. The photo on the front showed a castle this time. She had made it to Scottland.
My best friend was traveling in Europe before she settled for a few months in the UK and every week a new offering arrived for me. The photograph would tell me which country she was in and her words would be short, but I treasured every one.
I tucked the card into a notebook I had started to catalog her entire journey. I planned to give it back to her when she arrived home, a kind of journal of her year abroad.
I looked forward to those words like they were water in a parched desert. Each one gave me a small glimpse into her days spent far away but it was enough. As I stood on the dock looking over the misty waters, I sent a prayer to her as she stood far away somewhere upon the moors.
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Aware
31 Days of Practicing Faith
In October, I am free writing for five minutes a day—raw and unedited—on practicing faith in the every day. Each day is based on a different prompt from 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes.
{Day 13} - Aware
There is this awareness in the back of my mind every moment of the day. I may not be consciously thinking about our upcoming move but it motivates every decision. My eyes are more open to the opportunities around me—to each "last" that presents itself, to each precious moment I want to soak in before it is too late.
My sister asked us out to eat. We normally try to save money and don't eat out much, but I said we will go without hesitation. On the drive to the restaurant, my husband and I talked about how it is about being with family and not about the actual meal. Time with them is more important than saving a few dollars now.
When I was asked what I wanted for my birthday my thoughts didn't turn to all the items we need for our international move. I told my family allI really wanted was a weekend in the North Georgia mountains. I wanted to see the leaves change in all their fiery glory, to pick apples alongside my parents, and to hold my kids tight as the hayride bumps over the uneven hills of a pumpkin patch.
I stop to notice the moments I missed before. I find time for a six-hour dinner with a friend, for coffee out on the back porch while the kids play, for carving pumpkins with my daughter's second-grade class. The days are still flying by but I try to grab hold of them for just a little bit longer before they slip through my fingers. As the days count down and each opportunity could be the last time, at least for a couple years, to meet a friend or see a fall sunrise—I am aware of it. My choices are based on seizing every opportunity I can.
I wish it hadn't taken leaving to open my eyes to the beauty all around me...
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Sky
31 Days of Practicing Faith
In October, I am free writing for five minutes a day—raw and unedited—on practicing faith in the every day. Each day is based on a different prompt from 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes.
{Day 12} - Sky
I've been trying to pinpoint what about fall brings me such joy. Who doesn't love jumping in piles of leaves, corn mazes and hay rides, apple picking, and all things pumpkin? But that's not it. Even if I don't do any of the typical fall activities, there is a calm that seems to come over my soul this time of year. That first morning that I step out the door and feel that familiar crispness in the air, I just breathe out an audible sigh of relief.
I was sitting on my front porch trying to write this weekend. It was the first day that required a sweater and I just had to be outside. I balanced my laptop on the small table in front of me and pulled the blanket up around me. I kept trying to focus on the words I was supposed to be writing but my eyes kept wandering off to the horizon.
The sky was clear blue with not a cloud in sight. The sun was shining bright, beaming down a permeating warmth that allowed me to pull back the blanket. I realized how unique the fall sky is. The summer sky can be cruel, the sun beating down so that we retreat inside. The winter sky so often is so often full of ominous clouds, threatening to send down piercing ice.
But the fall sky is warm, clear, kind. After a brutal summer there is the fall sky beckoning us back outdoors. The warm and clear blue reminds me of the kindness of God when He brings us peace in the harsh seasons of life. The sun may be beating down on us but He is the cool, crisp breeze that sends peace into our weary souls.
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Thanks
31 Days of Practicing Faith
In October, I am free writing for five minutes a day—raw and unedited—on practicing faith in the every day. Each day is based on a different prompt from 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes.
{Day 11} - Thanks
We Southerners are really good at being polite. From an early age we are taught the proper use of "ma'am" and "sir," "please" and "thank-you." I'll never forget the first time I said "ma'am" to a teacher who was from the Northern United States and she was insulted. Apparently, I said something that made her feel archaic when I was just repeating what had been drilled into me from birth.
We are polite, sure. But we're not always genuine.
I find myself teaching my children the same rules. The nice gentleman behind the counter hands my five-year-old a sprinkle cookie, the highlight of my little one's trip to the store each week. I wait to hand the cookie over until he says "thank you." He knows it is what is required to get his hands on that tasty treat, so he obediently says it.
That night as we cuddle on his bed, surrounded by stuffed animals and blankets, we talk about what we want to pray for and I ask him what he wants to thank God for today. He stammers and struggles, squirms and reaches for his storybook. I sigh because I know just how he feels.
I have a hard time truly focusing on being thankful. I can say the words I have been taught. I know all the right answers, all the things I have that are a gift right from the hand of God. All the things He is that deserve my humble gratitude. But my thanks are so often platitudes repeated before I get on to the requests that come far more readily into my prayers.
When I slow down enough to really dwell on who God is, I truly am more grateful than a simple "thank you" can say. May I slow down so that my thanks is more than just words.
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Unknown
31 Days of Practicing Faith
In October, I am free writing for five minutes a day—raw and unedited—on practicing faith in the every day. Each day is based on a different prompt from 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes.
{Day 10} - Unknown
I'm living in a place of tension these days. As someone who lives to organize, I've always gravitated to planning everything to the extreme. Every moment of a vacation would be mapped out before the bags were packed. Packing lists and the children's schedules are prepared weeks ahead of time. I still like to have a plan but I've also come to see the joy in spontaneity.
Last spring when we took the kids camping for the first time I loved the freedom of just letting the day take us wherever it wanted. We just drove until we found a trail that looked nice and walked until we discovered the beauty of a waterfall we wanted to stop and enjoy for a while. We took leisurely strolls in the crisp mountain air and sat by the fire until we were tired. It was so relaxing to not have to stick to a plan, to just be free to enjoy the day as it came.
So much of our life is lived in the unknown as we prepare for an international move. People ask about our plan and we give the details in broad strokes, sounding more confident than we feel. We know that a million little details have to fall into place to make this plan work and we trust that it will. We try to plan accordingly. Yet so much of the planning can only be taken a day at a time.
If you had asked me years ago how I would feel about such a scenario, I would already feel the panic rising in my chest just thinking about it. But there is a strange calm in my spirit these days. I can only explain it by saying that it is a peace that passes understanding, a freedom in knowing we are held in the middle of God's will and that His plans are so much better than our own.
This tension between knowing the plans and trusting in the unknown is a strange place to be. I take a leap and trust He will be there to catch me.
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